HIV: The Choice of Safety or Secrecy

I was in a conversation with fellow clergy today around the issue of re-opening. We realize that for most of our churches, we are still realistically some time away from being able to have in-person worship. As we discussed the myriad of dynamics at play here the conversation went to personal choice. Some of our members - indeed some of our pastors - are more vulnerable to serious even lethal outcomes from the Coronavirus. This led to how part of our future will also include personal choice. There will be a point where the government cannot blanket close so many institutions. That is a reality and in some ways a good one. We don't want to totally cripple our economy, close businesses for good, and leave people unemployed and impoverished (especially when so many are already in that boat). But when that happens it will leave the people whom safe-at-home most protected with a choice. And part of the message from those who want to re-open things are especially saying the choice should lie with the individual rather than be stripped from them by the government.

But the problem is there are all sorts of dynamics with that which don't make it as easy as saying it is just a choice. A person who chooses to stay home when the state allows them to go out will not qualify for the same benefits of economic security, making it harder to stay home. Some bosses, eager to get business flowing again, may not be so tolerant of those who choose to not come in or work from home, forcing a person to choose between their job and their life. These were some of the dynamics that ran through our conversation. But there is another one too that ran through mine, thanks to life in the AIDS community: some people will have to choose to either reveal things about themselves they don't want others knowing, or endanger themselves. 

Many people who are HIV+ have chosen to live in secrecy, not disclosing publically that diagnosis with others, sometimes even close family members. Even as someone who has been public since a young age about his status, I don't broadcast it as much as I once did, and I've had enough negative experiences to not blame a single person for wanting to avoid them entirely. Every time I tell someone I am afraid of experiencing another one, even though - God be praised - they are fewer and farther between. 

What this means is that as the world re-opens but the threat of Covid-19 continues, people with HIV (or other health conditions they don't want others to know about) will be asked to make a choice between safety and secrecy. 

Either you will rejoin the world to keep your secret, knowing that as an immuno-compromised person it may cost you your life or you stay home and become subject to the questions of why you are not going back to work, why you can't go to Bible study, what would make you think you need to keep distancing and isolating more than the rest. This is especially true for younger demographics since the statistics are otherwise so overwhelmingly in their favor in regards to the impact of Covid-19. Along with their peers who question why they don't share their "it's no big deal" attitude are elders who may look to them to essentially build up the herd immunity.

We might also note that some HIV+ people are also closeted members of the LGBT+ community, and the strong association many hold between HIV and homosexuality will no doubt raise questions that may put other secrets in jeopardy as well. Like Michael Scott unintentionally outing his accountant Oscar in The Office I shutter to think that we might do the same.

I have no solution to this dilemma, since as I said before we cannot remain closed forever. I merely bring it forward to raise awareness to something perhaps you haven't had to think about among the many things we are thinking about when it comes to re-opening our states. And to those who identify with this, whether directly or indirectly, so you know someone else is thinking about your worry and fear. May God truly be with you in whatever path you take.

As an HIV+ person I always had an affinity for the X-Men. Many from outcast groups or groups that have experienced hate and prejudice do. I remember  where there was genuine fear over mutants in society and a desire to know who they were (the public felt they had a right to know who they were). The "Mutant Registration Act" was proposed. The secrecy that one held to themselves or their families - that they were a mutant - was threatened of being stripped away. For a lot of reasons that always resonated with me. And as this dilemma emerged in my head, the thoughts of that secrecy taken away again rises to the front of my mind. This time not in the form of government imposition, but, ironically enough, the opposite. When the government lifts its measures and we are more "free" to "choose", for some people the choice will be a different one. 

And a much more difficult one.

MLB: Steroids & Sign Stealing

My opinions regarding the steroid era of baseball are well laid out to regular readers of my blog. In short, I felt the writers who now shame and try to blackball anyone associated with steroids (whether proven or not) didn't seem to have as much a problem with it when it was happening. And I felt the league did little to nothing for too long allowing it to get out of hand. And in the era of suspicion there is a lot of finger pointing and difficulty in quantifying any advantage juiced players might have had, especially because it may have been such a league wide issue pitchers and hitters were both benefiting from it.

Now enter baseball's newest scandal: technological sign stealing.

Most notable is the fact that now two World Series winners - 2017 Houston Astros and the 2018 Boston Red Sox - have both been accused of inappropriately using cameras, sounds, and signals to steal signs. In both instances the grievance is said to have happened "during the regular season", but that doesn't do much to ease the reality that these were the WS winners those years. For one, it seems odd to utilize such an edge in the regular season but not post-season (unless of course there were greater league scrutiny in watching for such a thing during the post-season) and even if we grant the benefit of the doubt and only go as far as the reported scandals it begs the question of how many wins did the team get by sign stealing? In short, would they have been playoff bound to have a shot at a World Series in the first place?

Now we should pause a moment and be clear, we are still only talking allegations (although at least for the Astros the reports are sounding more and more like there will be discipline shortly meaning those have been substantiated enough to merit such action in the league). But as the news broke that the Red Sox too may have done the same we find ourselves asking what can be done? Perhaps more alarming is the fact that the issue seems far more of a league wide issue. Jeff Jones reported that multiple players named Texas and Milwaukee as major sign stealers. The Yankees were accused of sign stealing with the YES network. They in turn accused their rivals. The Brewers have accused the Dodgers. We shouldn't forget several years ago the Blue Jays supposedly had a person in the bleachers who was a sign stealer for the team.

Then the players have gotten involved. Darvish suggested Yelich stole signs, Yelich blasted back he didn't need to with him. Davies said 90% of his former team (Brewers) wasn't interested in sign stealing at all and there was no elaborate system. Middlebrooks, speaking much more generally, said it's a league wide issue and even the 95 loss teams that no one is naming are using it.

In short: the issue is wide spread enough that it's getting to the point players of saying "everyone's doing it". And every team or hitter with a remarkable run of success is falling into suspicion. Indeed, it's hard to tell how much it is helping if it is as wide-spread as the accusations within the league make it seem.

Is this starting to sound familiar?

It sounds to me an awful lot like the PED scandal: wide-spread, hard to quantify, suspicion everywhere, some evidence found, and the top dogs especially the ones put under the eye of scrutiny. Of course though, I have to ask, if Alex Bregmann has a Hall of Fame worthy career, will the BWAA withhold it because his team was found sign stealing? My guess is no. The reason being the blame is thrusted more on the team. But of course, how then can you rely on his career numbers? Or his team's success (and his role in it)? Steroids in the locker-room, even gained by trainers didn't stop them from putting the blame in the players for wanting the competitive edge and not the teams that paid them to find it (and even lent their personnel towards the task). And how will you know for sure which members of the team used the sign stealing and which didn't (think again about Davies' comment, which hints that players are not all in agreement on the issue)? These problems highlight why the BWAA treatment of the steroid era is such a joke. But they also should tell us that we are entering the same mucky world and the game needs to again act.

Not only must there be some strong discipline meted out to the teams accused if they are found to be guilty (which to his credit Commissioner Manfred has hinted at there being), but the next collective bargaining agreement needs to address this issue and even come down with significant punishment to players involved so that they have a reason to not want the competitive edge.

As a fan of teams like the Brewers and Yankees and Astros, I don't like to see their names brought up in this. I don't want the success of my team tainted with actions that seem beneath the game. Sure sign stealing has always been around and in some way is permissible, but it doesn't feel clean or honest. And adding technology and cameras to do so just adds to it. It feels like having a secret microphone to listen in on the other team's huddles in football so you know the play and can anticipate it. Something intuitive tells us it should not be a mainstream part of the game. And however difficult it is to fix, something needs to be done now...

...before the 2019 Nationals are accused!

I Found My Lost Sheep: Seeking an Older Child

This week as I listened the the Gospel reading for Sunday being read aloud, I was struck with a different kind of chord than I have been while listening to this in the past. Typically, when I hear these two parables (and the one that follows - popularly known as the Prodigal Son) I have always thought about it from the place of the lost sheep/coin/son, after all, the context and Jesus' commentary on the parable itself is about sinners repenting (and heaven's response) and being received by him. I've also considered what it says about repentance as an act of God (the shepherd who finds the sheep, the women who seeks until she has her coin, the father who runs out to his son). But this week I heard it differently, and differently because like Jesus, who is responding to people reacting to his welcome of sinners, I have heard it in response to the reaction I find so prevalent when people learn I have welcomed from the foster system a teenager into my home.

Now I should be clear the response is not the same. The Pharisees are contemptuous towards Jesus. Most people are more filled with pity or surprise for me when they learn about the change in our home this year.
"Wow! I don't know how you do it. I could never do that." is a typical reaction we get.
"How's it going? I mean, a teenager in general. But then one with baggage..."
Or before we had a child placed but were willing to take older children, "You know they have so many issues, right?"

Now to be clear, these are not malicious statements. They are from people who care for us. And with them have come phenomenal support for our family and with those fears has also come a lot of understanding and help with our adjustment. But the point I am making is this: while this is not the same as the Pharisees' attitude towards Jesus' reception of the sinners it came with the same social reality: just as the Pharisees had no intention of welcoming such people into their table fellowship, most people feel the same about children who have been placed in the foster system, especially older children. And as a result, there are a lot of Jesus' little lambs who are lost in this world, aging out with little to no social safety net in life.

When my wife and I first got into this program we had two thoughts: be open, and if possible keep sibling groups together. As a boy who was once removed from his home as a kid and had the fear of being separated from his brother if we left our relative placement I wanted to prevent other kids from having to go through that. We were licensed to take up to three kids and we were looking to get a sibling group. But as we waited longer we noticed something: the kids who languished most without a home were often older individuals. Some had siblings who were already placed and sometimes already adopted elsewhere, but the large amount of older kids waiting for a forever family and rapidly running out of time was overwhelming. Soon our conversations went more towards whether this was where God was leading us.

Why is this? Why do older kids not get adopted nearly as frequently as younger kids? Well, for one they are assumed to be more behaviorally challenged (after all, it's a teenager too!). Additionally, as people would mention to us when we were considering older kids that's not a whole lot of time to have them. Of course, our response is that these kids need a family for life, not just for high school. They need a place to go for thanksgiving and someone to call when their heart gets broken or their car breaks down. Lastly, it is the greater realization that you have more life experience you are pushing up against. A 14 year old has 14 years of habits and experiences before you came into their life. That's more opportunity for clashes of values, styles, vocabularies, or even tv shows. That's more adjustment. Couple all that with the fact that many people who enter into this are doing so envisioning getting a baby/toddler.

But as I heard the parable of the Lost Sheep, all I could think about was the little lamb in my home and amidst all the struggles (don't just wear rose color glasses, this is challenging parenting) and all the concern people have all I wanted in that moment was to say "Rejoice with me, for I found my lost sheep." Because my kid is home. And my kid is precious to me, and - as this parable reminds me - to God. The parable by shaping the sinners as lost sheep reshapes the way we see them. The way we see past the label to their needs and God's means to addressing them in Jesus. And I know kids in "the system" need that same reshaping. And what might help that is what I am captivated by most - the joy of the shepherd as a mark for the joy of heaven. It's the joy of Jesus to get to eat with those sinners that day. It's the joy my wife and I had the day we were told our kid would be moving in. It's the joy that looks past everything else and just says "Rejoice with me."

And it has meant a lot when people have. Whether it has been family, friends, or my church it has meant a lot to have people rejoice with me. While I appreciate the concern people have for us (and have needed the accompanying patience/support), what I also need and love so much is that rejoicing. I don't want there to be an expectation for my child to fail or to foster the stereotype that older kids in the system are bad kids. They are hurting kids, sometimes with behaviors that to us at first glace don't match the hurt but they are deeply connected. They need people to welcome or eat with them. Just as sinners need Jesus to welcome them and eat with them. And it is the church's mission as the body of Christ to capture this, to preach this, and embody this incarnationally. Because the Father is rejoicing, and one thing I can relate with that, is that God wants us to rejoice with him.

Thank you to those who continue to rejoice with us, support us, and open up their hearts to my kid.

Thank you to those who do the same in the church for any lost sinner the Lord carries home.

Want to learn more about foster care and adoption? Click here.

Why Straight Pride Isn't a Thing

As this month many people celebrate LGBT+ Pride month you occasionally get the question of why "they" get one and "we" don't. "Where is our straight pride parade?" you see written upon Facebook. Now I get the sentiment, I really do. I'm a straight, white, male. We don't get parades or months. History will tell we've gotten pretty much everything else of course, but I get why sometimes you feel like being you is not getting celebrated. It's an odd feeling of being...left out.

I remember years ago my adopted father getting a phone message from someone from church asking why our church was celebrating Black History Month in February and where is our German History Month and after hearing the message he said in frustration to the answering machine "Because we didn't enslave, segregate, or undermine the history of the Germans!"

And the same goes for us who are straight. 

As I think about this, one image pops in my head: AIDS Walk Wisconsin. For years I used to do the AIDS Walk Wisconsin in Milwaukee. And one of the things I still remember was the lineup of protesters. As we walked in solidarity, as we walked in awareness, as we walked in the memory of those we lost, as we walked in hope that one day there would be a cure we always had to pass the line of those protesting. Protesting our walk for these things. Protesting because in some way they were certain that AIDS was the righteous curse. Most were religious. Some may have been well meaning. Some may have done it in genuine, religious zeal and with genuine concern for us. Many did it in hate. You don't get to yell curses, damnation, and rude statements to ten-year-old girls walking and call it love of neighbor. 

Nor do you get to disown your kid and call it that.

Or beat up a couple walking out of a bar.

Or shoot up a night club.

Or utter anti-gay words.

Or withhold from someone the compassion you showed before they came out to you.

I remember the line of protesters. I remember the theologies that AIDS was just God's great curse upon homosexuality. I guess everyone else who got it was just a casualty of the Lord's crusade against the gays. I guess for some reason, the Lord decided, the time had finally come to do something about these people who have always been around. I guess God thought this sin was so much worse than the others that the wages of death was not enough. He needed to throw down his microscopic lightning bolts of wrath. 

I remember those signs. And I remember how hurtful they were, and I think about how in the end they were not directed at me, but at the gay people who walked with me and who I walked with at AIDS Walk Wisconsin. 

One thing about Pride month (at least from my vantage) is it involves pride in those who have risked and often suffered to identify as LGBT+. We don't have a straight pride because we never needed to take the big step and come out as straight, or worry what people will think if we tell them we're straight. We have not been discussed (often tactlessly) in politics, religion, and family meals as issues more than people. I've never heard of someone committing suicide because they couldn't handle being straight. We have not risked, suffered, or been afraid. We don't need pride to help our self-esteem, find solidarity, or try to tell the world we're here, we're ok, and we're people too. We haven't had people angry at the thought of us getting the same civil benefits such as being under the same insurance as our partners, getting tax breaks, or being able to make medical decisions for our partners were something to happen to them. We don't have stories like too many of my LGBT+ loved ones do. We haven't had to endure signs and protesters spewing hateful words.

I realize many people - especially of certain religious backgrounds - have a hard time with this, I too have struggled mightily over what to make of those passages in the bible about same-gendered sexual relationships. I am well aware of them and have not ignored what they say. But I also cannot ignore those passages that desire justice and fair treatment. I can't skip the part about treating others as I would like to be treated, nor can I miss the countless passages that have judged me unworthy. Therefore, whatever theological struggles I still have I have not struggled with this: no one deserves to be so ill-treated, so degraded, or so denied as many LGBT+ folks have. It doesn't matter if you are opposed to it morally, or think it's a choice, or an abomination; a little obedience to Jesus (or if Christianity ain't your thing, just try a little empathy) should tell us that no person - much less community of persons - should undergo all that my brothers and sisters have.

I can't pretend I don't know and love and have been loved deeply by people who are gay or lesbians or transgender. I can't withhold a hug to them or want them to be in psychological turmoil. And I'm thrilled in the ways pride has helped them.

Everyone should know they are loved. Loved by God. Loved by family. Loved by others. Loved by their enemies even. If you think the whole movement is an enemy to you or God, love them anyway. After all, God demonstrated his love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

So if it really is that hard to endure gay people holding hands in public or flashing a rainbow over their profile pic, suffer it a little. And don't demand your own month/parade/flag/whatever because of it. Rather rejoice that people - people we know and love - can feel safe enough to show their pride. Support those who have suffered for their pride. Understand why they get one and we don't. Don't contribute to the story of LGBT+ plight. That should be reason enough. We who are straight haven't faced the struggle. We don't understand therefore what it means to them. And it just seems petty when I see people complain about it or whine like a playground child "I want one too." Hope you never need one.

Maybe this changes nothing for anyone. But I'm not sure that means it didn't need saying. 

Always remember, goodness is stronger than evil. I know it.

To my LGBT+ friends. Happy Pride Month.

Ministers should be seen (and heard)

This is a case for public ministry. There are lots of cases out there (feel free to share one in the comments), and in some cases what happened in my story may never happen. But this is a case for public ministry. And by "public ministry" in this post I mean for the minister to conduct work in public places; to be seen. I know there are other definitions for the term but here it is about how our work engages the wider community.

And the point is simple - ministry belongs in the wider community. It's good to be in the office sometimes too. It's good when churches are open, accessible, and when people come in looking for help someone is there to help them. But it's also good to be out. It feels safer in our office where we control the environment, but that is also quite a "come" mentality when Jesus gives us a "go" commission. We belong in our mission fields. More than that, it asks a lot of a person to come in some respects. It's not easy to ask for help or seek spiritual guidance. It's harder to have to travel somewhere because now the person has to make the full initiative. How easy is it to put off going to the doctor, the dentist, getting a therapist, or calling your parents for help? It's hard to make that extra step. But once we are with the doctor, dentist, therapist, parent, or pastor there is far less standing in our way of saying what is wrong.

Public ministry enables us to be accessible to people who may for a variety of reasons be in need of spiritual support. By going out into the public sphere, we are already engaging the world. This is especially true when we are in some manner identifiable as pastors. It may be a clerical collar, it may be the bible you carry around everywhere, it may be that you meet for a religious purpose in a public square (like Bible study at the coffee shop), it may be that you are in a small town and everybody knows you are a pastor. Whatever the reason, when people know we are spiritual leaders and they are in spiritual need, public presence helps create the opportunity for them to be brave enough to seek spiritual help.

Here is a story I offer as an example. I'm part of a gathering of pastors that regularly takes place in a restaurant. We meet, eat, study the Bible, discuss theology, engage with community leaders and more. The group is a wonderful expression of ecumenical unity and has allowed for various means of cross-denominational fruitful ministry outcomes. It helps various communities of faith know what else is going on/troubling other communities of faith. It also keeps all of us pastors in the public sphere, especially with the staff who wait on us each week.

This Sunday our reading from Acts includes the story of the spread of the church to Macedonia with the start of the church in Phillipi. They journey there in part following a dream where a Macedonian cried out for them. The last two weeks our readings from Acts included Peter happening to be near Joppa when Tabitha dies allowing him to come quickly to help her and Peter telling how his time in Joppa led him to a new group of people who were not currently counted among the church - the Gentiles and the home of Cornelius. The early church did much of its mission by happening to be somewhere or going to places where people are hurting and crying out. The church today must also be seen, it's ministers also need to be available to those crying out.

On one occasion, one of those staff members at that restaurant lost someone in her personal life. I learned this because she happened to ask me to keep her family in prayer, which led to us talking a bit about what was going on that needed prayer. It turned out the individual who passed away was actually someone we had on our prayer list for several weeks in our church. It was a moment where the people we pray for (even when we do not know them but pray for them at the request of a member) intersects with the lives we know in our wider world. It reminds us why those prayers matter. And in that moment I was not a customer, I was a pastor. So I offered to do more than keep her family in prayer, I offered to do so with her there in that restaurant. We waited for a moment where there would be no work distractions, and we took a brief time of prayer together.

Had I not been there, perhaps she would have made her way into mine or another pastor's office seeking prayer. Perhaps not. What I do know is she knew she had someone who would pray and she asked for prayer. If you ever wonder why I or other pastors spend time out and about or what we accomplish I wanted to share with you one brief tale about how we make a difference by being in our community. It didn't grow my church nor do I expect that it totally changed her life. The moment itself didn't even last long. It wasn't why I was there in the first place. But it happened, and such happenings are holy in that they set something and some time apart to turn to the God who was already there.

We can share good news in the community by more means than going door to door asking if you've heard about Jesus, or holding signs and yelling into microphones in protest. Those forms generally don't turn hearts anyways. But rather, when simply by doing our religious business in proximity to people who need it, we give room for the Spirit to work. I should be clear, this can easily go beyond pastors too. Such public ministry can happen in an office between two co-workers. My point is that I and other pastors spend time being seen, and known, and trusted in part so that when crisis, guilt, questions, or just plain ol' opportunity arises in the lives of people around us, they know the church is there for them. They don't need to drive to its office and come in, but could run into its ministry in their everyday, hungry spiritual lives. The truth is, this is how God is; not just boxed into our beautiful temples but walking through the city streets and country fields. We don't come to God, God comes to us. Heck, God went so far as to take on flesh and live among us. That's why we got so many of these temples built all over the world! Because all over the world people find God, and as in ancient times build an altar to this God for others to see and for us to worship and remember the one who came to us.

I work in the public because this ministry belongs to the public. Many don't want it there for a variety of reasons but it belongs there. The earth is the Lord's and all therein. This is just one case for doing so. As a pastor it is one of those moments that remind me why I was willing to answer God's call into this gig in the first place. I love God's people. I love how much God loves God's people. I want God's people to know, believe, feel, and experience the love God has for them. It brought me many miles from my home to a new town, a new church, where I have an office I did not have before. And it brings me every week out of that office as well so that I can find myself before more people. And each time, whatever else I'm doing, I'm waiting.

And sometimes - not always, but sometimes - that waiting proves its worth and I get to be a part of God's loving work in our sometimes cruel world.

Lost Lent Sermon: Yellow on the Cross

So as we wrap up lent I thought I would take a moment to add what I've been meaning to incorporate for a week now, my lost sermon from our midweek Lenten series "Colors of the Cross" which comes to fruition with a special take home in our Good Friday service this evening. Unfortunately one of the weeks we had to cancel due to weather, with no real opportunity for make-up. So for those interested, here it is. Since I did not write it out then, it is a bit different but preserved best I can in this hectic time.

Readings were from Isaiah 2:1-5 and 1 John 1:5-9; 2:9-11.

Tonight we add to our cross the color yellow which represents God's perfect light.

God's perfect light. So light becomes an image for goodness in scripture, and particularly for a goodness God brings into the world. Right? Think of Genesis chapter 1, the beginning of creation God said "Let there be...light!" And God saw that the light was...good! So light was the first good that God brought into the world and thereafter it often becomes in scripture an image for goodness in some fashion, often a goodness associated with God like where our reading today says "God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all". Light is then even a part of God's own goodness shared in this world.

In that respect, the cross makes sense to have yellow for one of its colors, because there the most perfect goodness of God was shared, there was good news, there was Jesus, the Good Shepherd who came from God's own being. It also in no way belongs on the cross, since Jesus in no way belonged there. He, the perfect goodness, he, the light of the world, should be anywhere but the cross. But since he was there, yellow belongs on the cross.

But I want tonight to get more specific, at least in regards to our readings. Since in these readings light speaks not for goodness in general but for a specific form of goodness. In our readings, the light of God has to do with bringing peace.

Isaiah says that from Jerusalem shall go out instruction - a teaching - that would indeed allow God to arbitrate between nations, to settle disputes and bring peace. This was a peace, if you will, between peoples. Whenever we have a "them". Us and them. Us and Mexicans - that's a big "them" group lately. Or us and Russians - that's a longstanding one. Or how about democrats to republicans? Anytime we see a group of people to whom we feel we cannot be one. That is precisely the people this passage calls to peace. He says that people will "beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks". It's weapons repurposed - like turning tanks into tractors or carriers into cruise ships. Weapons are not needed anymore. It's like that song (sing it with me) "I'm gonna lay down my sword and shield down by the riverside, down by the riverside, down by the riverside. I'm gonna lay down my sword and shield down by the riverside, gonna study war no more. Ain't gonna study war no more, ain't gonna study war no more. Gonna study war no more. I ain't gonna study war no more, I ain't gonna study war no more. Gonna study war no more."

That song holds to the promise that God is leading us away from war into peace and invites us as we sing it to already join into that peaceful gathering. And Isaiah likewise invites us in the words "O house of Jacob, come, let us walk in the light of the Lord!"

Now if Isaiah speaks of peace between peoples then 1 John is very much about peace between people. For after saying that God is light and there is no darkness in him, then it begs us to ask ourselves if and in what ways we are in darkness. And one of John's major themes is this: there is no greater sign of living in light than loving one another, and no greater sign of living in darkness than hating one another. Thus, though the word is love, the love is one that brings peace between people. It calls us to lay aside our hatred and disputes in order to love. Or as he says, "If we walk in the light, we have fellowship with one another..." Love and fellowship between people, for if God's light brings peace between nations, we cannot pretend that it has no intention of bringing peace into the disputes in our lives.

And now we return to the cross, since our focus this Lent is not just on concepts of our faith but how they keep going back to the cross. Now we return to Jesus, God's perfect light, who didn't belong there but went there anyways for us. If our two readings today as they speak of light speak of being drawn into a peace that God brings, we look to the cross to do just that. This isn't about saying "can't we all just get along" or "you need to find a way to get along". Those efforts have failed miserably. They are noble, and we should always listen and strive to find common ground, but if peace only comes when all people agree I find it more far fetched than anything our faith has ever promised.

But the cross says that God didn't wait to see if we'd all get along. Instead he came and shined a peace we've been struggling to bring. Among our "Scriptures of the Cross" which we've been reading each week this series there was another one I originally included but then took out because of space and length. It's from Ephesians 2, where it says:

13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us. 15 He has abolished the law with its commandments and ordinances, that he might create in himself one new humanity in place of the two, thus making peace, 16 and might reconcile both groups to God in one body through the cross, thus putting to death that hostility through it.

"He is our peace" He has "made both groups into one" and created "one new humanity...in one body through the cross". Notice the language Paul uses here. Notice how God makes all this happen. The light of the cross includes a peace that the world cannot give. In Christ, in the Church as a whole and in our part within it, Christ is bringing together people who otherwise have no business being together. And he has given us a blessing and a faith in common, he has given us the grounds to be together.

The instruction we have that came from Jerusalem was the witness of the apostles, the story of Jesus, the cross that consistently is reaching beyond the limits of where we think it can stretch - making us and them into a new "we". If you aren't living in that peace - either because you refuse to love those whom God has brought you or because you will only accept a peace you yourself can agree on - you are in darkness. But even if you are in darkness, Jesus has come to shine his light in that darkness that you too could walk in the light of the Lord. For he did not go the the cross to let you remain a "them" in darkness, but rather to draw you to the light.

He is our peace, and as 1 John says today his blood will cleanse us from all sin. So come, let's not simply try to make our own peace but join up already in the peace that was promised by his cross. Let's lay down our sword and shield. Let's walk in the works he has prepared for us. Let's walk in the peace he has won for us. Let's walk as the people the cross made you to be. Come, let us walk in the light of the Lord! Amen.