Mailbag: Superheroes and other junk mail

Since no one left any comments in last week's mailbag, I will have to provide the fodder for this week's edition of the mailbag. If you don't like it, then start posting questions. Until that happens, you're stuck with the armchair junk mail.

Dear Armchair Theologian,
if you were a superhero, what would your name  and superpower be?

A lot can go into a superhero name, but too much thought is just not wise either. I mean really, you either have to think of a really awesome name that fits (like Flash or Hulk) or a simple name that simply works (Batman, Superman, Spiderman, etc.). But you also don't want a name that just wreaks of unawesome because it will definitely cost you in the popularity book down the road. Because there is a delicate line between Aquaman and Batman, Thing and Hulk. One stinks, and one is both obvious and awesome. Rule #2 is that you don't ever want to use "boy" in your title. Superboy, Boy Wonder, etc. They're like the baby muppets, good for their limited age group but quickly outgrown (whereas other comic book superheros I may never outgrow).

To allow for a backstory to my superhero name, it should fit somewhat in my own backstory as an armchair theologian. AcademiaMan sounds like Aquaman's nerdy brother, so we're gonna scratch that off the list. Since my church body both ordains women and has taken to neutering just about anyone in our hymnody, I imagine Pastorman just would not be appropriate. It would either suggest I was making a statement against women's ordination, which would be inaccurate and therefore confusing, or my church would refer to me as Pastorperson, which is just too long of a name and far less cool sounding. Thus Pastorman is out too. Instead, I think I'll take a lesson from the Flash's book and go by "The Rev". It embodies the Reverend, but at the same time has that extra hint of sexy to it. And it can come with an awesome backstory--during my ordination I actually undergo an ontological change during the laying on of hands. Maybe like the hulk who turns into green madness when he gets angry or stressed, when I'm preaching or administering the sacraments I get all aflame with the Spirit, and sortof like how some superheros change into their costumes, I transfigure into mine. As to my powers: well I definitely want to be able to slay bad guys in the Spirit. And since comic books are darker these days to keep up with their aging readers, I imagine I'll be battling some demons so you know I think I want to claim the promise of Mark 16 to help describe my powers: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.
So there you have it, along with the ability to slay in the Spirit, I can drive out demons in Jesus' name, speak any language, and heal people. And the Rev is impervious to snakes and poison. And to top it off he's biblically grounded (aside from the whole ontological change part, but it is a comic book after all). Hey DC, wanna buy the rights to "The Rev" now, or you gonna wait and risk Marvel scooping me up?

Dear Armchair Theologian, 
What's your favorite hymn?
Totally unfair question for me to ask myself for several reasons:
1) I'm a hymnwriter and therefore a bit biased towards my own work. Fun fact btw, my newest hymn is about to be sung for the 60th anniversary of a church I used to serve at. It was written by the organist and I and will premiere this Sunday.
2) I'm a bit of a liturgist and therefore want hymns to also fit the situation and the text, and therefore the answer changes from Sunday to Sunday
3) If you consider #1 and #2 the current answer would then logically be the hymn for that church's Anniversary service "Our Redeemer Our Cry!"
4) Other hymns that I sing for fun or get giddy over even at inappropriate seasons include: From Heaven Above to Earth I Come, Alas and Did My Savior Bleed, For All the Saints, Abide with Me, Christ has Arisen Alleluia, Jesus Christ has Risen Today, A Mighty Fortress, and All Creatures of Our God and King

Of your a praise bander, I'll throw some love out to "In Christ Alone"

Dear Armchair Theologian, 
My kid has never seen any of the Star Wars movies, what order should I introduce them in?
I'm glad I asked myself this question, because the truth is I had been asking myself this question for years and I wondered how I would introduce my children whom I may one day have to Star Wars. And the question was recently and quite definitively answered for me here with the Machete Order. To sum it up quick you do it IV, V, II, III, VI and I is removed from the Saga and seen as an extra piece of the greater universe of Star Wars entertainment. When I read this article to my wife she insisted we immediately begin watching now in this order and in our home, this is the order we consider the movies to be in.

Well I guess that's a wrap folks. If you wanted better material, post questions in the comment section and I may feature them in my next Mailbag. Otherwise get used to the junk mail.
If you have a question or dilemma (real or otherwise, serious or comic book material) for the Armchair Theologian, please leave it in the comment section, and perhaps you will be answered in a future blog.