Spicing Up Church Council Minutes

A meeting was called on November the First,

Everyone was there but the parish nurse.

The pastor opened with a word of prayer,

and a devotion on creation's care.

The president then asked that the secretary go over,

the minutes of the meeting that took place in October.

With no objections a motion was asked;

made, seconded, the minutes were passed.

The pastor reported that the month went swell,

out of four deaths only one went to hell.

On visitation the pastor began to speak,

that after 70 hours of work this week,

the shut-ins have been seen, "They all are great!"

Discussion came up about pastor's mental state.

The issue was then tabled for a month of prayer,

then they will re-address it if they still care.

Pastor then requested communion more often,

But as usual the council's stance didn't soften.

The pastor proposed more community service,

Such a selfless idea made the council nervous.

The agenda read 'Old Business' on the next line,

properties reported that the foundation is fine.

It only cost seven thousand the church doesn't have;

not since the Stewardship series cut giving in half.

The parsonage repairs will wait another four weeks,

why rush when the carpets mold and ceiling still leaks.

The quilters are still planning a quilt giveaway,

for twenty lucky people's next hospital stay.

'New Business' required a little more fighting,

to discuss pointless things not worth writing.

The pastor suggested another project on vision,

to determine an identity and focus on mission.

After minutes of explaining this has happened before,

the pastor asked everyone to think about it more.

They moved on next to a worship complaint,

that centered around the sermon's length.

Which caused another debate to have music projected.

So a motion was made then quickly rejected.

Evangelism team wanted a visitor day,

and needed ideas to get visitors to stay.

The nice coffee will be replaced with something far cheaper,

Reports are still coming in of that neighborhood creeper.

The treasurer presented the recent budget scare,

the council in tears sat silently there.

The projected income looks dire indeed,

the dedicated funds are starting to bleed.

Then it was decided that the most recent blame,

should go to some members who the council then named.

The pastor was asked to preach more on giving,

but in a way that was 'more relevant' to Christian living.

The  president saw the time, then asked if they might,

just have a quick prayer and end for the night.

They prayed the Lord's Prayer and without further devotion,

ended the meeting with a unanimous motion.

It lasted five hours fifteen minutes since the first seating;

by the way, the secretary took notes for this meeting.